Why do I Keep Doing This?

We’ve all been there:  we want to stop doing something (drinking alcohol, eating sugar, dating unavailable people, yelling at our kids or spouse, etc.) yet we keep finding ourselves doing that thing anyway.  Then we feel guilty. We say mean things to ourselves, thinking it will motivate us to do better.  But it doesn’t work.  Or maybe it works but only temporarily. And meanwhile, we struggle. 

We try all kinds of things to change.  We set New Year's resolutions. We read books. We hire personal trainers and nutritionists and coaches.  We go to therapy.  Maybe we gain insight on what’s driving us, but still…  we keep doing it! Why??

It’s because we are torn between our conscious desires and our subconscious beliefs.

Some say that our conscious minds are only responsible for about 5% of our actions, whereas our subconscious minds are responsible for about 95%.  Picture a small person sitting on top of a giant elephant.  If the elephant wants to move, it would be almost impossible for that person to get him to stop.  He could yell, kick, and pull on the elephant and get very tired. But ultimately, the elephant is going to win.  That’s the dynamic at play within all of us.   Our conscious minds are the person and our subconscious minds are the elephant. 

So you can see why it’s so hard to change.  If, for example, we consciously want to stop eating sugar yet our subconscious minds are programmed to believe that “sugar makes me feel comforted and loved”, it’s going to be extremely hard to stop eating sugar. 

The key to changing our behaviors therefore is getting our conscious and subconscious minds aligned. When your subconscious beliefs and conscious desires work together, we can change. In the example above, we would have your subconscious mind accept the belief “I have all the love and comfort I need within myself”.  When we can give ourselves what we need from within, we stop looking for it on the outside.  Then eating no sugar will become much, much easier.

Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) is a brilliant method for getting your subconscious mind aligned with your conscious mind.  When you combine a commitment to change with the right kind of work, change is possible.  

If RTT sounds like what you need, check out the link below to learn more.